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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24634039">What if</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abraham/pseuds/Abraham'>Abraham</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Magnum P.I. (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:09:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,304</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24634039</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abraham/pseuds/Abraham</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Richard hadn't died and he showed up in Hawaii to find Higgins.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Juliet Higgins/Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>167</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They had just finished a case. It was another cheating spouse.</p><p>“I don’t think I’m ever getting married,” Higgins said, as they stood in the driveway. “These cases really take all the romance out of the whole idea.”</p><p>“What? You don’t think being wooed with flowers and fancy chocolates and skimpy lingerie is romantic?”</p><p>“Not for the spouse being cheated on! And who uses the word ‘woo’ anymore? No, I don’t find any of that the least bit appealing. IF, I ever agree to be married, he will know exactly what I like.”</p><p>Thomas grinned at her. “Like yoga, followed by a hike to Manoa Falls, a run along the beach, and a big bag of peanut M&amp;Ms, your guilty pleasure.”</p><p>She glanced up at him quickly before masking her surprise.</p><p>He was still grinning at her when she noticed movement behind him.</p><p>The color drained from her face and if Thomas hadn’t reached out and grabbed her arms she would have fallen.</p><p>“Higgins?”</p><p>“Richard,” she whispered.</p><p>“Richard?” Thomas turned around still holding tight to Higgins.</p><p>The man started toward them. “Hello Jules. It’s been a long time.”</p><p>She blinked, still whispering. “But you’re dead.”</p><p>She looked over at Thomas to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating.</p><p>“It was made to seem that way,” Richard said. “Perhaps we could speak, alone, in the house?”</p><p>Thomas put his arm around Higgins’ shoulders.</p><p>“Richard?” Thomas said. “Thomas Magnum. I’m Juliet’s partner.”</p><p>“Partner, as in business partner or life partner?” Richard said, reaching out to shake Thomas’ hand.</p><p>Higgins was still silent.</p><p>Thomas ignored the question and guided Higgins toward the house.</p><p>“Really nice place here,” Richard said as they entered the main house. He walked over to the wall of windows that faced the ocean. “I could get used to this view every day.”</p><p>Thomas looked down at Higgins.</p><p>“Are you OK? Do you want me to stay?”</p><p>She took a deep breath and stepped away from him. </p><p>“I’ll be fine. Thank you.”</p><p>Walking out the door and away from Higgins was one of the hardest things Thomas ever had to do.</p><p>Higgins turned her attention to the man standing in Robin Masters’ house. </p><p>“You two seem rather chummy.”</p><p>“Thomas is my business partner. We’ve been through a lot together.”</p><p>“More than us? I’ve missed you Jules.”</p><p>“Where have you been the last two years? I was devastated when you died. Or didn’t die, it seems. I left MI6 and everything behind. I couldn’t bear to stay in London without you.”</p><p>She walked out of the room toward the office with him following.</p><p>“It was complicated Jules. I wanted to tell you, but it all happened so fast. We had an opportunity that we couldn’t pass up. Thousands of lives were saved. I thought you, of all people, would understand.”</p><p>“Well, I don’t.”</p><p>“I’m sorry for that. I thought I was making the right decision. I still think that it was the right decision.”</p><p>“Maybe it was for you. Why come back now?”</p><p>“We wrapped up the case. I told them that I needed to see you. Of course, they understood. I think they’re hoping that I can bring you back.”</p><p>“I already decided to stay in Hawaii and not rejoin MI6. I would have thought they mentioned that.”</p><p>“They did, but I’m betting that I can convince you otherwise. What do you say Juliet?” </p><p>He stepped toward her, reaching for her hand. She sidestepped to avoid him.</p><p>“This is just a lot to take in,” she said.</p><p>“I’m sure you’ve had quite the fright. Listen, I have a meeting with some MI6 operatives here on the island. Why don’t we continue this conversation tonight over dinner. A fresh start. I really want you in my life.”</p><p>He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek before she could pull away. She didn’t say anything. Just watched him walk out the door.</p><p>-----</p><p>“Hey,” Magnum looked out his front door past her. “Where’s Richard?”</p><p>“He said he had to take care of a few MI6 things and would be back later.”</p><p>She wandered around the living room, picking up random objects and then placing them back down without even looking at them. </p><p>“Can I ask you something?” she said.</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>“If Hannah hadn’t betrayed you, and you were separated from her somehow, would you have waited two years to find her?”</p><p>Higgins was still pacing back and forth. </p><p>“Don’t answer that. I already know that you would have done anything and everything to find her. I mean two years! We were to be married. We were going to leave MI6!”</p><p>She finally paused and looked up at him. Her eyes filled with tears and she angrily brushed them away.</p><p>”Why wasn’t I important to him?”</p><p>“Ah Higgins,” Thomas pulled her into his arms. He could feel her shaking in an effort to hold in her tears. “You are amazing and I don’t understand his logic at all. But, as much as I want to punch Richard for what he did to you, you should probably hear him out. You both owe it to your past to see if there’s a future.”</p><p>She nodded against him, sniffling.</p><p>“Did you just wipe your nose on my shirt?”</p><p>Shaking her head, she snorted out a laugh.</p><p>“You know. I was just going to cook some hot dogs over the firepit. Meet me down by the beach. It will make you feel better.”</p><p>She stepped away from him. Embarrassed at her rare display of weakness.</p><p>“Just for the record. You are totally important enough,” Thomas said. “The lads and I will meet you at the beach.”</p><p>“What’s with the lads anyway?”</p><p>“I have no idea. They seem to like me now.”</p><p>It seems that the lads transferred their dislike of male humans to Richard which was just fine with Thomas.</p><p>With the fire roaring, he had just grilled two hotdogs when Higgins showed up.</p><p>“It’s about time. I was about to eat both of these.”</p><p>“Sorry, Richard showed up and asked if I would show him around the island. Can I have a raincheck?”</p><p>Thomas studied her face, smiling and flushed in the late afternoon sun. Richard stood slightly behind her, looking over at Thomas.</p><p>Zeus gave a low growl, but Thomas patted his head.</p><p>“Of course. Have fun. Make sure to take him to Manoa Falls.”</p><p>“We’ll see you later.”</p><p>Higgins isn’t sure what made her turn around, but her heart gave a tiny flutter at the scene she left behind. Zeus had laid his head on Thomas’ knee. Thomas was leaned back in the chair, hot dogs forgotten, stroking the dog’s head. For a second, she wanted to run right back to Thomas and watch the sunset and talk about his ridiculous baseball team.</p><p>-----</p><p>“Bro. Why did you tell her to hear Richard out? Where has this dude been for the past two years?”</p><p>“T.C.’s right! You should have told her how you feel!”</p><p>They were still at the beach, sitting around the firepit in the dark.</p><p>“I don’t know how I feel.”</p><p>“Really T.M.? Because anyone in a half-mile radius can see how you feel.”</p><p>Thomas glared at Rick.</p><p>“What? Is it just obvious to me?” he said looking over at T.C. who rolled his eyes at Thomas’ stubbornness.</p><p>“Seriously. She is the best thing that’s happened to you in the past two years.”</p><p>Thomas sighed and then sipped his beer. They weren’t wrong. Higgins was the best thing that had happened to him. She was smart and funny and exasperating (that sounded like a British word). She was also beautiful and kind and constantly challenging him.</p><p>“I want Higgins to be happy,” he said. “If that means she’s with Richard, then I guess I just have to be OK with that. I’m going to head up to the house. I’m meeting a client in the morning.”</p><p>He had just finished feeding the dogs, who apparently now lived with him, when someone knocked at the door.</p><p>“Guys, I told you. I’m fine about Higgins,” and then stopped mid-sentence when he saw Higgins standing there.</p><p>“Fine about Higgins what?” </p><p>“Oh nothing. T.C. and Rick came over to badger me about going to a client meeting without you.”</p><p>“Why are you going without me?”</p><p>“Uh, well, I guess I thought you might be busy.”</p><p>He motioned her in and closed the door, pausing for a moment to collect the jumbled and confusing thoughts that were racing around inside his brain. This loving someone business really sucked sometimes.</p><p>And then, as he turned, she pushed him back against the door. Higgins was kissing him and her hands were behind his head weaving patterns in his hair which was making him dizzy and happy and really confused all at the same time. And then he was kissing her back and it was even more amazing that he imagined. And why was he even still thinking at this point?!</p><p>She stepped back, looking up at him. Her eyes were huge and he reached toward her without thinking.</p><p>His hands framed her face as he leaned in to kiss her. This time it was slow, less frantic, as if he was saying exactly what he felt without actually talking.</p><p>He stepped back from her, dropped his hands to his side, and took a deep breath.</p><p>“Where’s Richard?”</p><p>“He’s gone on to the airport.”</p><p>“Are you meeting him there?”</p><p>“I’m not going.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I mean I’m not going. Do you really think that I could kiss you like that and then leave with another man?”</p><p>Thomas shook his head. “I think I could take Richard in a duel.”</p><p>She smirked at him. “A duel?”</p><p>“I don’t know. It sounded British.”</p><p>She walked over to the open patio door and looked out. It was a beautiful night. </p><p>“I realized when we were at Manoa Falls that our relationship could never be the same. I spent two years mourning a man who a) wasn’t dead at all and b) valued his job over his fiancé. I didn’t think that was something I could forgive. Plus there’s someone else who I may have developed feelings for.”</p><p>Magnum came over and stood next to her. He reached for her hand, linking their fingers together and squeezing them gently.</p><p>“And absolutely no flowers, fancy chocolates or lingerie.”</p><p>“Then how am I supposed to woo you?”</p><p>“I think you’ll figure it out.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Dr. Ethan Shah</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>What if Ethan Shah was nothing more than Higgins' surgeon. What I think could have happened after Higgins got shot.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Decided to add this to my What if post. I like the idea of occasionally doing "What if" one shots.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He looked over at Higgins asleep in the bed. Why did it take her getting shot for him to admit how he felt about her? At least, he admitted it to himself. He wasn’t sure she was ready to hear anything yet. He sighed. She was so pale. The doctor had assured him that she would be just fine, but he wasn’t used to seeing his ultra strong and capable partner so fragile. All he wanted to do was gather her close and never let her go. He sighed again.</p><p>He’s pretty sure those feelings had been there for a while. But he really started to notice them when he thought she had to move back to London. When he asked her to marry him, he realized that he really liked the idea of them being together, even if it was a totally backwards way of doing things.</p><p>He rubbed his hand over his face, suddenly exhausted.</p><p>T.C. eased the door open and motioned for Thomas to come out. Thomas reluctantly let go of her hand whispering that he would be right back. He went into the hall, but turned down an offer to go to the cafeteria for food. He couldn’t stomach the idea of being even one floor away from her.</p><p>“How’s our girl?” T.C. asked.</p><p>“She’s OK. She’s going to be fine.”</p><p>“Why do you look like you’re not going to be fine?”</p><p>“I’m good T.C. This was just,” and he blew out a breath.  “too close. You know?”</p><p>“I know. Maybe you should let her know how you feel?”</p><p>Thomas looked up at T.C. and thought about denying it for about a millisecond but couldn’t. “I intend to. Look, you and Rick don’t need to hang around. I’m staying.”</p><p>“Alright brother. Call us if you need anything.”</p><p>He hugged T.C. “I will.”</p><p>He let himself back into the room and found Higgins blinking at him groggily.</p><p>“Higgy! Hey. How are you feeling?” He walked over to the bed and took her hand again.</p><p>“OK. How long have I been out?”</p><p>“A couple hours. It’s late. T.C. and Rick just left. They said to call if you need anything.”</p><p>“That was nice of them to stay so long.”</p><p>She looked down at their hands. She was confused and sore and tired and really wanted Thomas to stay but couldn’t ask. He snagged a chair and pulled it closer to the bed and saw relief flit across her face. “I’m not going anywhere.” Ever. He left the ever part off. No need to scare her right away.</p><p>He could see that the pain medication was wearing off. There was tension etched around her eyes and she took quick, short breaths.</p><p>“It’s OK Higgy. The nurse will be here soon.” He stroked her wrist with his thumb which did help to distract her from the pain.</p><p>“I was scared,” she whispered. Her eyes had taken on a sheen of unshed tears.</p><p>“Me too. Higgy, I …”</p><p>The door opened and the surgeon walked in.</p><p>“How are you feeling Juliet?”</p><p>Thomas knitted his eyes together at the ‘Juliet.’</p><p>“I’m fine. Just a little pain.”</p><p>“We can get you something for that. You must be Thomas, Juliet’s business partner.”</p><p>For some reason that irked him. “Yes, I’m Thomas.” </p><p>“Ethan Shah. Good to meet you.”</p><p>Thomas tightened his hold on Higgins’ hand. “When can my girl go home?”</p><p>Ethan looked over at Juliet. She was looking at Thomas like he was the only man in the room.</p><p>“Um, soon. Probably in the morning.”</p><p>Thomas smiled at her then.  </p><p>“I’ll check on you in the morning Juliet,” Ethan said. Hopefully Thomas wouldn’t be there, he thought. She was very attractive and he wouldn’t mind asking her out. She and Thomas did seem abnormally close though. Did business partners usually hold each other’s hands?</p><p>Higgins was released the following morning. Thomas pushed her out, happy to have avoided Dr. Shah.</p><p>“There was something about him,” he said.</p><p>“What? The surgeon? All I’m concerned about is that he knew what he was doing when he stitched me up.”</p><p>Thomas grinned.</p><p>They drove along the ocean. He glanced over at Juliet. Her face was turned into the sun and her eyes were closed. She looked radiant. He pulled over at one of the many scenic overlooks.</p><p>“Why did you stop?” she asked.</p><p>“Are you OK? Cold?”</p><p>“I’m fine Thomas.”</p><p>He took a deep breath. “Higgy.” He stopped and looked at her. “When I heard that gunshot and then I couldn’t find you, I was frantic. The thought of losing you …” He paused, looking out over the sparkling water.</p><p>She reached for his hand. Startled he looked down at their hands and then over at her.</p><p>“I felt the same way,” she said. “I can't lose you.”</p><p>He tightened his grip on her hand and turned in his seat so he could reach her. He smiled. “I thought I was going to have to convince you that this was a good idea.”</p><p>She shook her head. “You know what they saw about near death experiences, your life flashing by. Blah blah blah.”</p><p>He laughed.</p><p>When she tried to turn toward him, she winced. </p><p>“Hey, easy does it,” he said. He leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. He immediately wanted to deepen the kiss, but was scared of hurting her.</p><p>“Wow.” He grinned at her. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”</p><p>She smiled. She had felt that kiss all the way to her toes.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Nothing,” she said smiling, and she threaded her fingers through his. She leaned back against the headrest as he started the car.</p><p>“Let’s go home.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Need</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>What if Higgins came home early from her weekend with Ethan when she heard that Magnum needed her</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”</p><p>Startled, he turned toward her. “Higgy. What are you doing here?”</p><p>“I wanted to make sure you were OK.”</p><p>Rick had called her at the hotel. She had actually been relieved to see his number on her caller ID. Truthfully, she had been hoping Magnum would call with a case or another silly question. The weekend had not worked out as she had hoped. First, they had been interrupted by a kid who lost the engagement ring for his potential fiancé. That had actually been a blessing because the longer they were alone together, the more awkward Higgins felt. And then later, Ethan’s declaration of love had sucker punched her. Sure she liked him. Even the sex was good, but that was it. It was just good. She realized then and there that she would never feel the same way he did.</p><p>“I’m sorry Ethan. I have to take this.”</p><p>“Thomas again?”</p><p>“No. It’s Rick.” She answered quickly. “Rick? Everything OK?”</p><p>He told her about the case and the missing soldier. Yes, they found him and he was with his family. They had promised to check in with him the next day. But Thomas was taking it hard. He had refused to stay at La Mariana saying he needed time alone.</p><p>“I’m worried Higgins.”</p><p>That’s all she needed to hear. She grabbed her bag and told Ethan she would call him the next day. She hadn’t even kissed him goodbye. And then she had spent the next two hours waiting for Thomas to come home. She had been so worried, when he wouldn’t answer, that she tracked his phone. He had been driving aimlessly for hours. When he finally got home, she waited until he parked the car and then hurried toward him.</p><p>“Thomas!”</p><p>“Higgy! I thought you weren’t coming home until tomorrow?” That was the reason he had been driving around. He couldn’t stand the thought of coming home to the house without Higgins there to distract him. He had hated the idea of her away with Ethan all weekend.</p><p>“Rick called me. He told me about the case.”</p><p>“Everything worked out, thank goodness. Hopefully he can get the help he needs.”</p><p>“Where have you been?” she asked quietly.</p><p>He sighed and leaned back against the Ferrari. “This is going to sound a little crazy, but I was talking to Nuzo.”</p><p>She smiled at him. “It doesn’t sound crazy at all.”</p><p>Thomas gave her a half smile. “Sometimes I just need to talk things out with him. He was always so good about helping me focus. Helping me to not dwell on things I can’t control.”</p><p>“I wish I could have gotten to know him better.”</p><p>Thomas smiled a genuine smile at her. He almost said that Nuzo knew right away that they were destined to be together. But instead said, "He loved that you keep me in line.”</p><p>She laughed. “As if that’s even possible.”</p><p>They both stood in companionable silence for a few minutes.</p><p>“Are you hungry? I can make something,” she said.</p><p>“That sounds good. I’ll be in in a minute.”</p><p>She started to leave and then impulsively turned back toward him and hugged him. He stiffened for a minute, surprised. Then he hugged her back, holding her close against him and sighing. He relaxed for the first time all day. He finally felt like everything really was going to be OK.</p><p>She pulled away reluctantly. “Alright. I’m going to get everything ready.”</p><p>He grabbed her hand to stop her. “Thank you.”</p><p>“You’re quite welcome Thomas.”</p><p>She was walking back to the house when it hit her. She almost staggered under the realization. She was completely in love with Thomas. She stopped and looked back at him. He was silhouetted in the moonlight and her heart sped up. She had never before let her mind touch on the real reason she couldn’t commit to Ethan.</p><p>Thomas looked up at the stars. “Well Nuz, I met an amazing woman. I think I might love her. The only problem is that she’s with someone else. I know, I know. If it’s meant to be, it will be.” He paused, lost in his thoughts. “I miss you man.”</p><p>When he got inside, he found Juliet in the kitchen. She had changed into yoga pants and his sweatshirt that she had borrowed months ago and never gave back. That made him smile. She looked absolutely beautiful.</p><p>“Hi,” she said smiling up at him. “I’ve put together a few of your favorites.”</p><p>“Look Higgy. I’m sorry I ruined your weekend.”</p><p>“You actually didn’t,” she said.</p><p>He huffed out a laugh. “I’m sure you imagined rushing home early from your cushy penthouse suite.”</p><p>Juliet didn’t answer right away. She handed him a beer and carried the food to the living room. He followed her, worried when she didn’t elaborate.</p><p>Taking a long sip of her beer, she sat on the couch with her bare feet propped up on the coffee table. “Ethan told me he loves me.”</p><p>Thomas’ stomach dropped. He was sure she was going to tell him that Ethan proposed. “Oh.”</p><p>“But I didn’t feel anything when he said it. I mean, I probably should have felt <em>something</em>, right?” She looked at him and then added, “Well, I might have felt a bit annoyed. Because how dare he say that!”</p><p>Thomas wasn’t sure how to respond so he took another sip of his beer.</p><p>What Juliet really wanted to say was that she loved being home with him. She loved that she could wear her hair in a bun and her worst yoga clothes and not care. She didn’t have to impress him. Thomas just liked her. He got her – her sense of humor, what scared her and what made her happy. That’s what a relationship was supposed to be like.</p><p>Thomas leaned back against the couch cushions. Their shoulders were touching. She turned to look at him and their faces were inches apart. “I don’t love him.”</p><p>Thomas felt a surge of hope run through him. “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Positive.”</p><p>He let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.</p><p>“You know, I’m sure it’s not the same as Nuzo, but if you ever want to talk, I’m here.”</p><p>He reached over and squeezed her hand. “Thanks Higgy.” And then after a few seconds, he added. “I’m really glad you’re here.”</p><p>“Me too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I may have an idea for another what if.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Realization</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>What if Higgins realizes that she's in love with Thomas.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her phone buzzed for the 30th time in the last 20 minutes. </p><p>“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Thomas asked. “I guess Ethan worked through whatever he needed to.”</p><p>But what if she didn’t want to answer or text him back? What if after she had told Ethan about her MI6 days, she had realized something. It had hit her like a ton of bricks. The whole time she had been trying to make it work with Ethan, the man she actually loved was right in front of her.</p><p>“You’re going to need to get that signal jammer closer.”</p><p>“Roger that Gordie,” Thomas said quietly.</p><p>Thomas and Higgins were currently undercover at a wedding reception trying to help Katsumoto thwart an attack. The bride’s father was a major player in the Yakuza and he was currently trying to kill his main competition. Katsumoto had found the victim, but he had a bomb vest strapped to his chest. Thomas and Juliet were trying to jam the cell signal on the man’s phone so the vest wouldn’t detonate. The bomb squad was in route. </p><p>Thomas grabbed Juliet’s hand and pulled her toward the dance floor where the bride was dancing with her father.</p><p>“Thomas,” Higgins hissed. “This is the father-daughter dance.”</p><p>He pulled Higgins into his arms. “Just relax,” he whispered. “They’ll think we’re so in love that we can’t stay away from each other.”</p><p>Katsumoto snorted in their ears.</p><p>She was stiff in his arms at first, but relaxed against him as the music wrapped around them. Thomas was a good dancer and she completely let go and let him lead. His one hand rested on the open back of her dress and she shivered. He leaned back slightly and frowned. “Are you OK?” his eyes asked. She nodded and then rested her head back on his shoulder. Her other hand was wrapped in his hand and against his chest. She took a deep breath and her stomach dipped when she smelled his deodorant and the few sips of the whiskey he had taken. She nuzzled her head into his neck. That caused him to almost stumble, but he found his footing, tightening his arm around her back.</p><p>Thomas moved them closer to the father and daughter. The signal jammer was in his pocket. The daughter pointed out how cute they were to her father.</p><p>Thomas pressed a kiss to Higgins’ temple and then dipped her close to the couple. </p><p>When he pulled Higgins up, he expected to see a flash of irritation in her eyes. Instead, he saw something that gave him hope for the first time in almost a year.</p><p>He pulled her back against him and stroked the soft skin on her back. He noticed how perfectly she fit in his arms. God. This was torture. How much longer did they need to jam the signal?</p><p>“It worked,” Katsumoto said over the coms. “You guys are good to go.”</p><p>They danced for a few more minutes and then made their way back to their table.</p><p>Higgins picked up her phone and sighed. “I guess I should text Ethan back or maybe I should call.”</p><p>“Wait,” Thomas said, putting his hand over hers.</p><p>She looked up surprised.</p><p>He swallowed hard. “Higgins, you know how I feel about you.”</p><p>“She doesn’t, but the rest of us do,” Katsumoto said. They had forgotten he could still hear everything over the coms.</p><p>Thomas ripped the tiny devices out of his ears.</p><p>“Come on.” He took Higgins’ hand and pulled her outside. It was humid and there was the smell of a just-smoked cigar lingering in the parking lot. This was not the place he pictured professing his undying love, but it was now or never.</p><p>She was looking up at him expectantly. He dragged his hand through his hair and drew in a deep breath. Then he reached out his hand and gently cupped her cheek. “I think I love you.”</p><p>“You think you love me?”</p><p>“No. That came out wrong. I <em>know</em> I love you. I want a chance to show you.”</p><p>His hand dropped to his side when her phone buzzed again. She looked at it and then back up at Thomas.</p><p>“I’m scared,” she whispered.</p><p>“Of what,” he asked, pulling her toward him.</p><p>“What if we mess this up? What if I lose my best friend?” She had tears in her eyes.</p><p>“You won’t,” he said. “Wait, I’m your best friend, right?”</p><p>“Yes, it’s you. Of course it’s you, you idiot,” she was smiling through her tears.</p><p>“Oh Higgy. Don't you know? We can do anything as long as we’re together.”</p><p>And then he leaned down and kissed her.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. It was finally time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>What if Higgins went to see Thomas right after she left Ethan's.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I really want to see next week's episode and I really don't want to see it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Higgins burst through the door of the guest house. She was angry now. And upset. But more angry? She was so confused. All she wanted to do was talk to Thomas.</p><p>“Oh!" She had completely forgotten about Uncle Bernardo. The two men were staring at her. “I’m sorry. I’m, um, just going to go.”</p><p>But Thomas had jumped up as soon as he saw her face streaked with tears, her eyes glittering. “Higgy. Wait.”</p><p>He caught up to her at the door and grabbed her arm.</p><p>“Hey,” he said softly. “What happened? Are you OK?”</p><p>Just seeing him made her want to burst into tears again. His kind eyes traveled over her body making sure she wasn’t physically hurt.</p><p>“Ethan?”</p><p>“Oh Thomas.” And then she was crying.</p><p>Bernardo grabbed his things and quietly went out the door. He watched his nephew gather Juliet into his arms. He could see him whispering against her hair. Right then he knew for sure that Thomas was in love with Juliet. He could tell by how Thomas held her. Bernardo knew. He had watched the love of his life from a distance too. Telling himself that he only wanted her to be happy. Well, tomorrow, he was going to have a talk with his nephew. Tell him to man up. Thomas should know better than anyone how short life was. How if happiness was available, he should grab onto it with both hands and never let go. Juliet was meant for him.</p><p>Thomas guided Juliet into the living room to the couch.</p><p>“Shhh. It’s going to be OK. I’ll be right back.”</p><p>He grabbed some water and a box of tissues.</p><p>“Here,” he handed her the box, and she gave him a small, watery smile.<br/>He sat down next to her and she immediately moved closer to his warmth. He put his arm around her shoulders and she leaned against him. He waited patiently while she tried to stop crying.</p><p>“Ethan said he doesn’t trust me,” she said finally. “He’s not sure he can trust me again.”</p><p>“Oh Higgy,” he said, hugging her tighter and tucking her head under his chin.</p><p>She sat there breathing in Thomas’ scent. It made her feel better. Thomas was right. Maybe Ethan wasn’t the man for her if he couldn’t accept all of her. She had dreaded telling him the truth. Hadn’t really wanted to at all, but felt like she had to. And while Thomas already knew she was MI6 before they met, it hadn’t changed anything. He didn’t look at her any different. Had never questioned her about her past. He had just accepted it. He knew her. He <em>trusted</em> her.</p><p>Higgins was picking at a loose thread on the end of his shirt.</p><p>“I don’t know Thomas. Love shouldn’t be this hard, right? I mean, love should be the person you want to tell everything to. The first person you want to see in the morning and the last person you want to see before you fall asleep. It’s the person who thinks you can do anything. The person who drives you nuts one minute and in the next minute you can’t imagine living without him.” <em>The person who would pawn his most valuable possession to buy tires for your car</em>.</p><p>She froze, realizing what she had said and what she was thinking. She looked up at the man next to her. His beautiful brown eyes were smiling back at her, filled with love. It was Thomas. He was the one. She realized that she had always known this, but had been terrified of admitting it.</p><p>She sighed. “I’m a mess Thomas. I need to figure some things out.”</p><p>“I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “Take all the time you need.”</p><p>He grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch. He stretched out and pulled Higgins down with him. She turned in toward his chest and sighed as his arms wrapped around her. She was exhausted and was asleep in minutes.</p><p>As Thomas lay there, he realized that Bernardo was right. He was completely in love with Higgins. Yes, he wanted her to be happy. But he wanted to be the one who made her happy. Starting tomorrow, things were going to be different. The first thing on his agenda was to thank Ethan for being an ass.</p><p>He gently kissed the top of Higgins’ head. She was definitely the only person he wanted to see before he fell asleep for the rest of his life.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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